


The Lies He Tells (Moceit)

by An_Ace_Case



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, tw blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 3,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25047379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Ace_Case/pseuds/An_Ace_Case
Summary: We all tell lies; to ourselves, to friends, to family, to strangers, to everyone. After all, little white lies are what hold society together. But the secret Patton hides is hardly little. In fact, it could end up killing him.
Relationships: Intrulogical - Relationship, Moceit
Comments: 14
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1

Flowers are beautiful, delicate things. Little wonders that can mean so much. Their bright blooms bring color to the world in spring. But if they are meant to be so wonderful, then why did they cause Patton so much pain?

~0~

It had been a few days since it started. The petals. For the past three days, he’d found himself coughing up yellow rose petals. It hurt. He had no idea what was causing it, or how to make it stop.

He soon found seeing or even thinking of Janus seemed to make it worse, but that seemed to be unavoidable. He was on Patton’s mind a lot. He was sometimes all Patton could think about.

More petals. Flecks of blood stain his shirt. He’d have to change into a new one soon- he couldn’t let the others see what had become of him. It was so hard just to breathe, he wanted it to stop, how could he get it to stop-

He wondered, for a moment, if Janus was the cause of his problem.


	2. Chapter 2

That night, he went on the computer to see if he could figure out what was wrong. In searching coughing up flower petals, one result stuck out to him.

“Hanahaki disease,” he muttered. He read what the website had to say about it.

Hanahaki is a disease that comes from a person being in love with someone who is unaware of how they feel. It causes flowers to grow in their lungs, which when given enough time will eventually kill them.

He could die?! That wasn’t good. Was there a way to end it?

The only way to cured of Hanahaki is for the person to confess their love to the one they are in love with, and for them to reciprocate the feelings.

Patton took a moment to realize what this meant. He was in love with Janus, and it was literally killing him. And the only way to make his suffering end was to confess his feelings.

And to hope that Janus felt the same way about him.


	3. Chapter 3

No. The only cure for Hanahaki was to confess his feelings, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He wasn’t even aware of these feelings himself until just now, and he certainly wasn’t ready to just go up to Janus and talk about them. No, he would just hide it, for a little longer, while he figured out what to do about his dilemma.

Easier said than done. Being Deceit, he essentially served as a lie detector, able to tell when a side was lying. The moment he said anything that wasn’t true, he’d be caught and forced to reveal everything, and he couldn’t let that happen. Besides, lying was wrong.

The thought of confessing started a fresh round of petals and blood. He knew he couldn’t hide this forever, but he could try to keep it secret for as long as possible. He settled into bed for the night, hoping for a good night’s rest that would not be granted to him.


	4. Chapter 4

In the morning, Patton faced the Light Side common room, which normally wouldn’t be too bad, except there was one problem today.

Janus was there today.

Oh no. No no no no no. He wasn’t prepared to face him so soon. But that meant nothing, as he was there now. He held back a cough as he started to make breakfast for himself. Still, Janus could tell something was off. “Is something wrong, Patton?”

“I just didn’t sleep well last night.” Not a lie- he was in too much pain to sleep well anymore.

“Okay,” he replied, seemingly satisfied with his answer. Patton let out a small sigh of relief. His throat burned from petals and thorns stuck halfway up his throat, begging to be let all the way out. But he couldn’t, not in front of everyone. He couldn’t let them see. He didn’t want them to know. They didn’t need to know. He had to get out of there as soon as possible, before someone saw.


	5. Chapter 5

Something was off with Patton, and it was clear he didn’t want to talk about it. He seemed to remember that Janus could sense lies, but he forgot about lies of omission. There was a lot of omission going on. Whatever was happening, it was causing him pain. And that was something Janus didn’t want. In order to find out what was wrong, however, he needed to enlist some help.

On the Dark Side, he called for someone he really wished he didn’t have to put his faith in. “Remus!”

“What is it, Jay?” He walked out looking like he’d just woken from a nap.

“I need your help with something. There’s something wrong with Patton.”

“Why do I care?”

“Just help me out here.”

“Ya like him or something?”

Janus gave him a glare.

“...You do, don’t you?”

“Jussst shut up.”

“Okay, okay, fine. What do you want me to do?”

“Try to find out what’s causing Patton to be in pain. There’s clearly something wrong, and he won’t tell.”

“I’m on it!”


	6. Chapter 6

Patton was terrified that Janus would catch him, but thankfully it seemed he would be fine for at least a little while longer. Petals threatened to come out all morning, and even after Janus left, he had trouble hiding the fact that something was wrong. Still, he thought he was doing fine at hiding it, until Logan asked him if he was okay.

“Patton, are you quite sure you’re alright? You’ve been coughing all morning. Are you sick?”

“It’s nothing, Logan. I’m fine.“

Logan gave him one last glance of suspicion, then turned away from him again. Another close call. Thankfully Roman and Virgil didn’t say anything. He was glad to leave once he finished eating.

Breathing hurt so badly. He had to get out of there. Hide in his room. They couldn’t know. They never had to know.

They would never know.


	7. Chapter 7

Remus probably could’ve found a better way to get Logan’s help than just appearing in his room. But crawling through the walls was the easiest way to get to any of them.

“Hey Lo-“

“Remus, why are you in my room?”

“What, a side can’t just visit another side from time to time?”

Logan gave him a look.

“Jay wants to know what’s wrong with Patton.”

“Ah.”

“You want me to leave, just help me out and I’ll go.”

“I do not know what is bothering him either, but whatever it is it’s hurting him badly. We must find out and help him before something bad happens. But he won’t share with us.”

“Looks like we’ll be sneaking into his room then?”

“How can we do that?”

“I’ve got a way, but you’ll have to stay behind. I’ll be back with whatever I find.”


	8. Chapter 8

Finally. The safety of his room. He could hide in there, and just come out as little as possible,. He would have preferred never again, but that wasn’t happening, so he’d take what he could get. More petals came up, and he was unable to stop them now. Blood marked the pretty yellow and blue of the petals, the flecks coloring them red. “Stupid Hanahaki... why me...” he muttered. Not like anyone was around to hear him anyway.

He shuffled over to the bed. It was getting worse each day- soon he would barely be able to get up. But that was alright. The others would only know he was sick, but not what with.

Breathing hurt so much. Thorns scratched at his throat as he coughed. More petals. More blood. The crimson droplets stained his shirt. Oh well. Not like it mattered that much.

Soon there wouldn’t be any need to breathe.


	9. Chapter 9

Remus crawled back out of the wall to find Logan. He had to learn of his findings. As suspected, he was in his room.

“You better have found something.”

“I did! I saw his problem myself! And I’ve got a name!”

“So what is it?”

“He’s coughing up blood and flower petals. He called it hadamaki or something.”

“Hanahaki,” he muttered.

“You know what this is?”

He nodded. “It comes from unrequited love. He must confess to the one he likes. If the one he’s crushing on doesn’t love him back, then it will still kill him. But if they do, then the flowers growing in his lungs will disappear.”

“We’ve got to figure out who it is then, so he can confess!” He hoped it wasn’t Logan. He wanted to be the one he would be with, and he would not let Patton steal him away. “Wait, why do you know about it?” Did he have it? Maybe he did. Was it for him? Could he want to-

“I was researching odd diseases not long ago.”

“Whatever. We’ve gotta tell Janus this!”

“What do you mean, ‘we-‘“ Remus grabbed his arm and pulled him along to the Dark Side with him.


	10. Chapter 10

Janus was pacing the Dark Side common room, worried about Patton. What could be happening to him? Will he be alright? Please let him be alright. He wanted Patton to be okay. He really cared about him. He wanted to be by his side, to protect him and show him how he felt. He wanted to be there for him, all the time.

What were these thoughts? What was this feeling? He and Patton were supposed to be rivals of sorts, and yet... this was hardly any normal rivalry. Do I-

“WE’RE BACK, DOUBLE DEE!”

Remus burst in, interrupting his thoughts. Perfect timing. “What do you mean, ‘we?’” he asked, turning to face Remus and- “Why is Logan here?” he hissed.

“He wanted to help figure out what’s wrong with Pat, and he did. Now do ya wanna know, or not?”

“Please, the suspense and worry isn’t killing me.”

“It’s a disease called Hanahaki disease. It causes flowers to grow in the afflicted’s lungs. They cough up the petals, and the thorns scratch at their throat causing them to bleed, until they eventually die from being unable to breathe.”

Oh no. This was worse than he ever could have imagined. “Is there any cure?”

“They must confess to the one they love, and that person must return the feelings.”

“Then I guess we’ll have to figure out who it is.”


	11. Chapter 11

Patton was laying on his bed when he heard the knock on his door. “G-go away,” he tried to say. Talking was difficult.

Just breathing caused so much pain. He wanted it to stop.

“It’s Virgil,” said the voice from the other side of the door.

If Virgil was worried about him, there wasn’t any chance of him going away anytime soon. He changed out of his bloodstained shirt into a clean one so it looked like nothing was wrong. “Come in.”

Virgil walked in, immediately coming to the bed and tried to act as comfort for Patton. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

He put on a happy facade. “Nothing! Everything’s just fine here-“

“No, you’re not fine. I can tell you’re not. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

Wow. He knew they were close, but he didn’t think it was that obvious. “Kiddo, I know you’re Anxiety, and it’s your job to worry- but”

“Patton! Just be honest with me for a moment.”

He let the act drop. “I’m having a hard time with feelings.”

“How so?”

“It’s... complicated. But I think I like Janus. Like, ah, how do I put this...”

“I think I get what you mean. And you want to tell him how you feel?”

“Yes. But I’m not sure how.“

“I’d say he’d probably want you to just tell him, and if he doesn’t feel the same, well, you tried.”

If he didn’t feel the same, Patton would literally die. But Virgil didn’t know that, and he wasn’t about to bring it up. “Thanks kiddo.“

“No problem, Popstar.” With that, he left Patton to be alone again. The petals he’d managed to suppress during their conversation couldn’t be held back any longer. The blood ruined another shirt of his.

But now maybe he’d consider the idea of confessing to Janus.


	12. Chapter 12

Logan and Remus were left alone in the hall outside Patton’s room. It was clear to Logan that it was taking a lot of self-control for Remus to stay in one place. As it was, he was practically bouncing in place. Occasionally, the duke would open his mouth to say something, then decide to say nothing. It seemed he was trying to make himself less of a bother to be around, something very out of character for him. “Remus, why are you acting strangely?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I can see you are trying hard not to act how you normally would. By now you would have made several horny or disturbing comments and possibly destroyed something.”

“I just...” he trailed off.

“You just what?”

“I don’t want to be so annoying,” he muttered.

“What was that?”

“I said I don’t want to be so annoying. I’m not as perfect as stupid Light sides like you, and you all made it clear you don’t like me.”

“Sure, you can be bothersome, but-“

“Even Janus doesn’t like me! I see it, all the time.” He sat down on the floor. “If I could tame that craziness in me, maybe I could get you all to like me.”

Logan sat down next to him. Sure, the duke was a little crazy- well, maybe more than a little- and that was incredibly annoying at times. But that chaotic energy was something Logan liked about him.

As illogical as it was.

Perhaps there was more than just that.

“I never want you to change, Remus. Your chaos is you, more than whatever you’re trying to be.” He put an arm around Remus, and pulled him in closer, trying to give him comfort.

When did he start wanting to comfort him?

The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Virgil came out of Patton’s room. At least, someone who looked like Virgil. Either way, neither of them noticed. His form wavered, and he revealed himself as Janus. He looked down at the two sides on the floor, and cleared his throat to make his presence known. “So, we know who’s to blame for Patton’s case of Hanahaki now.”


	13. Chapter 13

Janus walked out of Patton’s room, shocked by the information Patton had given to him. He likes me? Of all the sides here, it’s me. Wonderful.

But that meant if you really thought about it, he was the one to blame for why Patton had Hanahaki disease.

He chose not to really think about it. He didn’t like the thought of being the one causing him so much pain.

He walked out of the room to find Logan and Remus sitting on the floor, Logan holding Remus as though to comfort him. He would deal with seeing what that was all about later. Right now, there were much more pressing matters at hand. The two hadn’t seemed to notice him walk out, so he changed himself back and cleared his throat to get their attention. “So, we know who to blame for Patton’s case of Hanahaki now.”

The two sides, noticing he’d come back, practically jumped up and acted like nothing had just happened between them. “So, who’s the lucky side?” Remus asked, a gleam of curiosity in his eye.

Janus didn’t answer. He walked past them, heading straight(gay) to his room. He needed a moment to sort it all out in his mind. He sat down on the bed and took off his hat while he thought. Patton is in love with me. Morality in love with Deception. What are the chances? He moved to a laying down position. Then again, I might be in love with him too...


	14. Chapter 14

After Janus left, Remus turned back to Logan. He thought about how Logan held him. Did that really happen? So many thoughts came to his mind. Logan in his room Logan undressing Logan as his, all his-

He tried to shake the thoughts from his head. Just focus on what was happening now. Being intrusive thoughts is not easy. “Well that was unhelpful,” Logan commented, fully snapping Remus back to reality.

“Uh, yeah. Anyway, what are we gonna do now?” He asked, still a little flustered from the moment they’d had in the hall. Clearly Logan was having trouble getting his thoughts in order too, as it took him a moment to respond.

“Well, ah, normally I would go back to my room until I am needed again. Unless, you wanted to do something?” He looked at him, curiosity evident on his face. Not obvious to the average person, but to someone who’d spent hours analyzing his expressions it was easy.

“I don’t know... I wanna do something, I’m just not sure what.”

“Perhaps you could make something in the Imagination? I’d be willing to tag along.”

“Are you sure you want to?”

“I’m willing to go only if you want me to.”

“Then let’s go!”


	15. Chapter 15

Patton was sure he was ready to brave a confession. It had been a few days since his conversation with Virgil, and he wanted to just let it all be over with.

But then he stopped at the door. Was he ready to do this? He shook the thought from his head. He’d never really be ready, so he might as well just do it. He walked out of his room, but only made about two steps before more petals and blood came up. The coughing fits had been getting more intense, he couldn’t hold them back anymore. He doubled over on the floor, his vision starting to go black.

No. No, not now. I was so close. This is it. I’m going to die.

It didn’t stop. It just kept going, until after a few minutes it finally ended. He was still alive, but he was so weak, he wasn’t entirely sure he could get up. Maybe I’ll just lay here for a little while...


	16. Chapter 16

No one had seen Patton all morning. He hadn’t shown up for breakfast, and now it was almost noon. Someone had to find Patton, before Thomas did something stupid. Logan and Virgil figuredhe would likely be in his room, and started walking there. But they stopped when they saw Patton’s body on the floor in the middle of the hall.

They couldn’t just leave Patton there, so Logan picked him up and started carrying him. “Where are you going?” Virgil asked.

“Down to where I think he can be helped.” He began towards the Dark Side. The moral side was surprisingly light, which made him think about how little food he’d actually seen him eat lately.

“Janus!” he called as he walked in the Dark Side.

“What is it?” he asked, before he saw who Logan was carrying. “Oh my God. Patton!”

“He appears to be unconscious.”

Janus took Patton over to the couch, trying to set him down gently so he would be comfortable. Logan stood back, watching Janus try to help Patton. This was when Remus decided to walk in.

“Hey, J- what happened with Patton?!”

Logan looked at him grimly. “It appears his Hanahaki is beginning to finally kill him.”

Without a second thought, Remus grabbed Logan’s hand, simply seeking comfort. The logical side hid his surprise at the gesture, but didn’t fight it, as it seemed to help Remus with his worry. And really, it helped him a little too.

Janus sat by Patton’s side for hours, waiting for him to wake up. Eventually, he started coughing again, yellow and light blue petals stained with blood coming up. “Patton?”

He opened his eyes weakly. “J- Janus?”

“Yes Patton. It’s me.” He smiled in relief. Patton was still alive. But he probably didn’t have much time left.

“I was going to come down here... to tell you... some... thing...”

“What is it, Pat?”

“I... I love you,” he confessed. “I love you, and it’s literally killing me.” He turned his head away from Janus, saying, “Your scales are so pretty...” as he closed his eyes again.

“Patton!” he shouted. He buried his head in Patton's shirt. “Patton, no. Don’t die. Please. I love you too. I don’t want you to die.”

He stopped moving.

Then, suddenly, his breathing became steady, and less shallow.


	17. Chapter 17

He was breathing.

He was breathing.

He was alive.

He was still alive.

How?

He remembered going to confess to Janus, then...

He blacked out. It was all just bits and pieces from there. Logan carrying him, waking up on a couch, Janus...

Janus...

What happened?

Did he confess? He must have confessed, because...

He could breathe. He could breathe just fine. He wasn’t coughing up rose petals and blood anymore. Which meant...

He felt the same way about him.

Janus returned his feelings.

There had never been a better moment in Patton’s life than this.


	18. Chapter 18

Janus watched as Patton’s state slowly seemed to improve. His breathing became normal, and it seemed all damage caused by the flowers was disappearing. Hours later, his eyes began fluttering open.

~0~

Patton heard someone calling his name. He opened his eyes to see Janus watching him, his snake scales a very comforting sight. Pretty snake, he thought. He wanted to reach up and stroke the scales, but he couldn’t really move his arm much.

“No, no, you’re still too weak.”

“Janus, I... You...”

“Hush now, darling. You need to rest and get your strength back.”

~0~

Logan stood back with Remus and let Janus be the one to take care of Patton.

“So, whaddaya wanna do?” Remus asked, bouncing beside him. “Something down in the imagination?”

“I think I learned my lesson about that after the last time.”

“Oh come on! It wasn’t that bad.”

He gave Remus a look.

“Okay, maybe it was that bad. But still!”

Logan rolled his eyes at Remus. “We’re doing something different for our next date.”

Remus slumped in place. “Hmph. Fine.”

“Don’t be like that. You know I love you.”

“Love ya too, nerdy wolverine.”

~0~

Janus watched as Patton finally awoke. “Patton? Patton?”

“Pretty snake,” the moral side muttered. He tried to lift his arm, but struggled to move it.

“No, no, you’re still too weak.”

“Janus, I... You...”

“Hush now, darling. You need to rest and get your strength back.”

“What did I...”

“You _didn’t_ collapse on the floor right outside your room, and Logan _didn’t_ carry you all the way down here, where you _didn’t_ confess to me on your dying breaths. And I _don’t_ return the feelings.”

Patton smiled at the words, deciphering the lies to see the truth. “Maybe, when I’m better-”

“We can think about the future when you’re strength is back up. For now, you just need to rest.”


End file.
